Is there a safe place for Christian Asians to just be?

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Although I’m just a data set of one, my experience as a Chinese American over the past 58 years is not entirely unusual. Growing up in a traditional Chinese family, my family’s love language was provision of food and basic needs. For that I am sincerely grateful. But the love languages that my heart and soul yearned for was touch, quality time, and deep conversations. And this kind of a loving community has been elusive for me to find; only having moments of it here and there, with a few friends, for a season now and then.

To be clear, yes and amen, I’m especially and profoundly grateful to be married to a dear wife for 29 years and counting. Yet my heart and soul longs for more. I don’t that’s a bad thing; we’re made for more. More richer friendships in Christian community that energizes us for the short term and long haul. Another way I’ve said it, I need all the help I can get to get through this thing called life.

Where People Could Just Be Real, Together

Then I went to Abide Gathering during the first weekend in July 2024. It was an indescribable experience, for this is the kind of community and safe place I’ve been searching for over 20 years. I say this without exaggeration or hyperbole.

What made this event so special was how it created a safe place that was truly counter-cultural for those of us with Asian American Christian lived experiences. Your mileage may vary #ymmv. Someone said at the event so poignantly, “The world rewards the false self, and so does the church.”

How did the Abide organizing team do it? They expressed these important core values—Spiritual Growth, Openness, Not Performance Oriented, Deep Relationships, and Having Fun—in designing the program with some key guidelines like being fully present (active listening), being non-judgmental, confidentiality, and no solicitation.

What Made Abide So Special and Different

Here’s one thing that was so distinguishing about Abide. (And there were a handful of other things that made this Christian event like no other.) What do you talk about when you can’t talk about work?

We talk about life. Many years of experiences accumulated and aggregated in the room. There were multiple generations of Asian American Christians, with some non-Asians in the room too. Abide’s board and advisors exemplified this: “We open ourselves up to be known by others and to learn from others. We’re willing to share from the hard parts of our life stories.” What a powerful (and fearful) thing to see, how vulnerability begets vulnerability.

Every one had such rich and deep lived experiences. Many were willing to share. I didn’t get to hear everyone’s story; we didn’t have time for that. But we did have a roundtable of 7 or 8 people each, men and women, where we did participate in a storytelling liturgy. We cried and we laughed together.

What It Looks and Feels Like to Abide in Jesus

In addition to ample times of connecting over conversations and stories, we ate together, we worshipped together, we played together, we abided in Jesus together. I had an AHA moment about what Jesus meant with abiding in Him (John 15)—this isn’t just an individual thing to do (or be). There’s a whole ‘nother dimension and power we tap into together, when we abide in Jesus together in community! We are the branches and He is the vine.

But, I think words are not enough. Abide cannot be explained; Abide has to be experienced. I’m reluctant to reduce Abide into one sentence or a short testimonial. That just doesn’t do it justice. By the way, I also shared 3 Abide highlights in the CAMH monthly update (a ministry I’m a part of, called Christian Asian Mental Health.)

Can I Say More and Go Deeper?

I think a story would be better; let me share several stories and vignettes. Here’s my video where I say more about (some of) what I experienced at Abide:

I’m eager to return to Abide Gathering next year and every year, Lord willing. In the meantime, I’ll connect with my fellow brothers and sisters on the journey through life—online and in person—as opportunities avail.

Does this kind of event resonate with you? Save the dates for next year’s Abide Gathering: July 6-9, 2025, in Dearborn, Michigan.


Comments

One response to “Is there a safe place for Christian Asians to just be?”

  1. David Park

    DJ – thank you for expressing so beautifully what Abide was and how it was meaningful to you. It was a gift to have you and Rachelle there and we all, together, shaped the Abide experience for each other. Can’t wait to spend more time with you as we journey together through life!