Much of life on social media that is produced, sanitized, performative, and carefully curated. Every post gets optimized for maximum views and clicks or to grow an audience, for what? Every vulnerability is the kind that makes you look good for being vulnerable.
Why in the world would so many people do all that? The bottom line is the bottom line. Profit. Money. Even fame in becoming an influencer is a play for more monetization. Even giving money away or appearing generous or humanitarian is to serve the spike of views and shares that feeds right into advertising sponsors that keep the money-making machine cranking along.
Yuck. Not me. Not here.
Real transparency — not the performed kind — means saying things before I know how they’ll land. It means sharing that I’m in the middle of something hard without the resolution in sight. It means admitting I don’t have it figured out.
That feels risky. Because it is. A few years back I wrote openly about going through an episode of depression while it was happening — not after I had healed and had a tidy story to package. Just this: here’s what’s going on. Here are the words from my journal. Here’s what it actually feels like.
Opacity has a cost too; it’s just hidden, for a time.
Being transparent is so much better than being exposed.
Here’s the thing about individuals and organizations that play it safe and keep things close to the chest. They reveal only enough information on a need to know basis. That nice corporate-speak looks professional and sanitized, devoid of personality or resonance for those of us who are human.
And you know what happens? People don’t trust them fully. They can tell something is being managed and manipulated.
And the irony is, the people who are most carefully protecting their image are often the ones whose image suffers most when the truth eventually surfaces. Because it does. It almost always does. In today’s day and age, practically anything and everything is subject to be made public for the world to see. The most damaging kind? Getting exposed. Nobody wants that!
Transparency doesn’t eliminate your mistakes. It just means you’re not carrying them alone and in secret, which is where they do the most damage. You’re only as sick as your secrets.
The better way to go: being open and transparent. Nothing to hide, because you have nothing to hide. No need to waste your energy and efforts massaging your reputation and message, when you can just be your authentic and natural self, whether on an individual level or corporate organizational level.
There’s a relational math to transparency: honesty + risk = trust. You can’t get to the trust without paying the cost of the risk.
but transparency isn’t the same as oversharing
Let me say this clearly. Transparency is not dumping everything on everyone all the time; also called vomiting. That’s not vulnerability, that’s a lack of discernment. Wise transparency is what we’re going for, what I’m going for.
Transparency means being honest about what’s relevant, with the people for whom it’s relevant, at a level of depth that serves them and not just you. There’s a difference between processing your pain with a trusted friend and broadcasting unprocessed pain to an audience or the public square of social media. Both have their place but they’re not the same thing.
I’ve learned this rather slowly over these 26 years of blogging. Some things belong in my private journal. Some things belong in a counselor’s office. Some things belong on a blog. Wisdom is knowing which is which.
transparency has a spiritual dimension too
And there’s something theologically grounding about transparency.
The whole arc of the Christian story is God making himself known — not staying hidden and unreachable, but choosing to be seen, eventually in the most vulnerable way imaginable. An infant. A refugee family. A man who wept publicly, who said out loud that his soul was troubled, who cried out on a cross in abandonment and confusion.
If that’s the model, then the posture of curated image management is at odds with what we Christians say we believe. Not every Christian is called to blog their inner life. But all of us are called to something more honest than the performed version of ourselves.
Brené Brown and the research on shame has made this case compellingly. The things we hide gain power over us. The things we bring into the light lose that power.
That’s not just good psychology; that’s ancient wisdom.
potentially more friends with benefits
Transparent people build deeper relationships faster, potentially. In my limited life experience, that some people say is more than the average person, I’m discovering that there are comparatively few people who are willing to be honest and transparent. Most of the majority of people do have something to hide. And isn’t that a shame. That’s shame in action, full speed ahead.
Transparent organizations attract people who align with their actual values, not just their marketing. Which means less churn and more genuine buy-in from the team aka employees.
Transparent leaders don’t spend energy maintaining a persona. That’s energy freed up for the actual work.
And maybe most of all — transparent people sleep better. Not carrying the weight of impression management is genuinely restful.
To be honest, I’m still learning when to share and when to hold back. My personal preference is to share more, openly and honestly. And I do so by faith, because the more of my humanity I can share in light of God’s grace, the more of God’s goodness and kindness we can see and receive.
Transparency is worth it. Not because it’s comfortable. Because it’s real. And real is the only thing that actually connects you and me.
Leave a Reply