subconscious overwhelmings

discovering an innate subconscious emotive reaction to how I respond in different arenas.. that when I’m among peers who have some shared experiences, when I’m among friends, when I’m with people who talk above my head, when I’m doing a presentation in a mixed audience, when I’m in a formal meeting, or when I’m teaching/ presenting with people who don’t know what I know, I feel very differently in each. And much of that is perhaps normal, what happens with those feelings is that they feel somewhat overpowering or overwhelming, (in the more formal situations, that is), so I get tunnel-visioned, mouth-goes-dry, and I babble through what I have to say.. whereas in other situations, I feel lucid and my thoughts are coherent, perhaps even persuasive. Not sure how much of this can be disciplined, in terms of managing my emotions.. all this to say, I’m part of the human drama. The lingering reflection is: what does this mean for me as an ePastor, does it say that I oughta hide my doubts and fears and quirks, and be preachy all the time, spout Bible verses, and be spiritual and stuff? I’m not so persuaded….

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  1. tim liu says:

    dj, i’m getting on board with the blogging thing more now, i’m working on my own too! (still in production) but on the subject, i relate to your comments too, i was recently encouraged to strive for unity of character in all situations, that this is true authenticity. that way, we are no longer trying to put on a performance or fool other people with what we are. not sure if i fully agree with this, but i think i connect with it at some level. the exception here is where we intentionally adjust our actions to meet people where they are, like paul who became all things to all people. but this is more of a conscious effort than subconscious emotive. maybe this is where being an epastor comes in, that you minister to people in different ways. just some thoughts.

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