excerpt from crosswalk.com forum

  Forums :Men's Issues
Why look to other women when you can have sex with your wife? I'm single, and wonder why you wouldn't just stick fast to your wife. 
Cal--  -  Jan 26, 2000 03:59 pm
Do men find themselves unable to enjoy sex with their wife, so they look for a woman that makes them potent? Does a man's ability to have sex fall down unless finds a new woman? It seems that you would be able to not only enjoy your wife in the long haul...but even moreso, because it is according to design. 

I'm wondering why marriage isn't "good enough". 

What do you men think?

my own thoughts:
It's not so much that marriage isn't good enough, we Christians cognitively know that marital sex is the gift of God and to be deeply enjoyed, but in the fallen nature of men (the flesh) is the ability and desire and temptation to lust. The flesh is insatiable at times, and it takes a heavy leaning upon the Spirit of God to resist temptation. There are few men who are not tempted by lust, and our society doesn't help. The sad reality is that even the most learned among pastors have fallen to adultery. 

Rach-- - 10:54pm Jan 27, 2000 (#1 of 10)

 Good point! (of course I'm biased since I'm a woman!!!) 

gwi-- - 09:29am Jan 28, 2000 (#2 of 10)

 I've been married 33 years and don't plan to cheat. The Bible says adultry is a sin against the soul. 

From a purely male point of view and since I'm a man, a lot of times women will just plain let themselves go after they have their hooks in you. What women think we do I couldn't say. I suppose it's a two way street. So if you aren't married, unless you want to get a prenupual agreement, Yuk Yuk, you can expect her appearance to go down hill after that. Of course if her appearance is going to be a problem then better watch yours too. 


Jane-- - 09:41am Jan 28, 2000 (#3 of 10)


Good point on the women's appearance. As a woman, I've seen this over & over & it appalls me. I take as much care with my looks and grooming as I did when I was a teen-ager (probably more, since it takes more work the older we become...ha). 

I am in my 50's & people still can't believe it. I've been told by medical doctors that God has blessed me with a youthful appearance. Yes, God has blessed me, but I have also worked diligently to keep this appearance. 

I have been told that I look like our daughter's sister, so that is truly a compliment. 

However, back to the original question...no matter what a person looks like, I do not believe this gives any mate the right to commit adultery. Sex should be wonderful w/your mate, no matter how long you've been married. 

raft-- - 08:08pm Jan 28, 2000 (#4 of 10)

 Many reasons why men look to another woman, but the real reason is sin in the life of the one looking. It is not that complicated. If we have our eyes on Jesus like we should then our eyes would be single. People need to realize that we can not shake hands with sin. We must say no to sin crucify the flesh and take up our cross. Jesus took up His cross we can do no less 

tur-- - 10:08am Jan 29, 2000 (#5 of 10)

 Gwinn, Can you explain to me why men that have beautiful attractive wives, leave them for other women? 

gwi-- - 08:05pm Jan 29, 2000 (#6 of 10)

 turburd: I'm not God. I can't tell you. Personality could have something to do with it. 

However, I'll revert to my previous post and repeat that Adultry it a sin against ones soul. 

For "Me", after all the mistakes I've made, I don't wish to add another. I can't figure all this out. Makes you wonder why people can't work some of this out before they get married and all. 

We just have to trust God I guess. 


Srh-- - 08:09pm Jan 29, 2000 (#7 of 10)

 I think the answer to this question is that men fool themselves into thinking that having sex with a different woman will somehow be different,arent we all basicly the same,arent we all basicly constructed the same way,some may be a little better than others or a little younger or whatever but after all is said and done its all the same,too many men have been seduced by variety supposedly being the spice of life,in some things this might be true,but not in sex or especialy not in love,love is about famialiarity not the unknown,its about being known and knowing someone else,how can variety add to that. 

bigt-- - 08:48pm Jan 29, 2000 (#8 of 10)

 Ive been married for 25yrs. My wife and I started at the age of she was14 and I was 17 that was 29 yrs ago. I Love her more each day. Ive never even thought of another women as long as we have been married she is the greatest thing in my life. Next to God. 

cd-- - 10:41pm Jan 29, 2000 (#9 of 10)

 As someone in the midst of lusting after other women to the point of emotional adultery (thank God I haven't committed physical adultery), I think it has something to do with our baser instincts, the animal side of our nature. Men are very much like dogs, especially when it comes to physical gratification. It's no coincidence that younger guys call each other 'dog' now. Some of them even seem proud of this. The scary part is, I felt just like you; in fact I was eager to 'show' all the other married couples how to be a faithful, doting husband. I guess you're just better prepared to handle lust than some of us. I thought I had given that all up when I accepted Christ, and I had for a while. But then, it found it's way back to forefront. I don't know how old you are, or how much this has entered your thinking, but most men are very visual; their sense of visual perception is their most sensitive to stimuli. I also hope and pray you're truly as prepared for the onslaught of physical temptation as you say you are... 

Cal-- - 02:11pm Jan 30, 2000 (#10 of 10)

 Srh--, Just curious, do you have an testimonies regarding the similarity of all? I think it would be very interesting to find out that men , when looking for variety, really find that they had all they could want with their wife. This seems logical, I'm just curious about actual men saying they've experienced or heard that men find thier wife sufficient... fornication is for the dogs. -Cal