When I don’t feel like it

This blog post, and every blog post here, is my words of prayer. First, I have a confession to make. I don’t feel like it. I don’t feel like anything right now. I don’t feel like doing anything. I’m glad it’s not a weighty feeling of dark cloud. It’s not that I’m feeling bad or blah.

At the End of the Day

It’s a few hours after work. I need to go to bed in about an hour. And with the time I have, I wanted to pray. That’s what I was getting inspired with this morning. That when I have moments of being unoccupied, I would take that moment to check-in with you, God. Remind myself and know that things are okay. Ask that you bring to mind anything I need to confess or resolve. Ask if there’s anything else that’s urgent and important that I have to do before bedtime tonight. Nothing is coming to mind.

Praying, Blogging, Typing, Journaling

You know I don’t like planning. I’ve just got this time available for something. And, I remembered that I’m a couple days behind on my prayer blogging. So, let me do this. Good, the words are starting to come to mind. Nothing particularly profound or book-worthy, as I would say it. And that’s okay.

The point here is to pray through my blogging and typing. My journaling and thoughts are being presented before God. And, with God as my witness, and a few people looking over my shoulders on this screen, maybe they can see something interesting or inspiring.

Several times now, I’ve recently read and have been taught, that the Lord’s Prayer is a model and a format for what prayer can and should be. Yes, the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray. There is something to learn about praying that the disciples wanted. And from what Jesus taught, those words have become the most recited in human history.

The words are good, but they are a starting point, not the prescription. Jesus taught how to pray, not what to pray. That’s exactly how Jesus started, in those red letters of Matthew 6:9, “This, then, is how you should pray..” (NIV). “After this manner therefore pray ye..” (KJV). “Pray, then, in this way..” (NASB)

Learning to Pray by Praying

For this season, I’m learning to pray by diligently praying. Learning by practice rather than reading more books or watching more videos.

Think of it like riding a bike, swimming in a pool, or playing a musical instrument. I could read many books and watch training videos, but until I practice doing it, I will never learn to ride, swim, or play.

Praying has got to be like that. It’s not so much having the right words, though the words have helped me through a hard season. I have often recited the very words of the Lord’s Prayer and Psalm 23 this year. They helped me to find words to reorient me to what is spiritually true, when my mind and heart were disoriented. Thank you for those good words.

And as I’m now getting back into my own sense of being, I can find my own words to be shared honestly with you, as my prayer for the on-going conversation that is my life and my thoughts. I believe life to be less meaningful when constrained to the temporary things of this world.

Hit the Reset Button

Yup. When I look at the computer screen here and the short shelf life of social media updates, I have become more sensitive to just how quickly things come and go. Blink. If I click on Shut Down, it’s all gone. Sure I can save files and upload content to the cloud. But those digital bits are oh so fragile. I’ve had hard drives crash on me; computers die prematurely.

The work that I have done over the years in running events or developing software—it’s gone. The money I’ve earned over the years of working—it’s gone. It sustained me for a little while. It’s useful. You’ve been generous with skills and opportunities so I have had no real reason to worry. And I confess that my feelings betray the truth of reality.

I say all this to ask you God to reshape my heart so the feelings are more aligned with the truthful reality of how you have created me and how I can live in your grace; to live gracefully, with more hope and faith, less anxiety and fear.

At this moment, anyways, just saying it out loud, on screen, before You, is my prayer and request. I am hitting the reset button on my heart. You created the heaven and the earth. You gave breath to Adam. You give breath to me. Each and every one. Ahhh. Thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for Jesus. Good night. Amen.