nervous like Barney Fife

Appreciate the emails and phone calls from many during my past week’s stress-inducing incident. Good to know who my real virtual friends are 🙂 I am now sleeping better, and life is beginning to feel normal, even though the incident is not yet resolved. My alleged legal counsel would probably advise against commenting further publicly in a written public forum like the Internet.

One thing I’ve learned about myself and the condition of my heart is how it clings onto my mistakes. Like any human being, I do make mistakes occasionally. And when I am clearly in the wrong, or even if I think I made a mistake, I feel the weighty guilt or it for days on end, losing sleep with accompanying raw nerves that derails me from functioning at all. While I can regurgitate sound theology, confess my faith and belief in Christ, pray repeatedly, and preach the Gospel to my heart, I often feel more like a nervous Barney Fife than whatever people might perceive of me. With raw nerves like mine, I don’t have what it takes to launch a new startup or church plant by myself, or provide pastoral comfort and counsel amidst tragedies.

Blogging should be light this week, as I’m preparing to preach this coming Sunday at Washington International Church.

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  1. Shu says:

    It’s funny… I’ve had questions whether or not to pray for “virtual” friends online. Sort of along the lines that I don’t really know you, so why bother… but I’ve realized, this is part of loving those I don’t even know but are going through struggles… I dunno, even for example, the people who suffered during 9/11… I will pray for you DJ, because God’s love needs to be shown to you… from close (family) and from far so that you know His love is really all-encompassing…

    May God’s Shalom be with you.

  2. natala says:

    dj, we’ve been thinking about you… let us know if you need anything –

  3. djchuang says:

    Thank you for the prayers and concerns. I am doing much better, really. It wasn’t all that big a deal in the whole scheme of things, but my emotions sure went on a steep roller coaster ride the past week. Maybe it was the road trip to New York City last weekend for Beard Papa cream puffs, and/or hangin’ out with my virtual friends in Philly at CCDA for 1/2 a day (including Rudy and Jeremy) that helped. The emails and voice mails have helped too. Very grateful and encouraged..

  4. the bloke says:

    Hey DJ, having gone through many rough episodes myself, I can understand the kind of raw emotions that are tossing you about. Even though it might seem nearly impossible to bear, I can testify to the loving arms of our Heavenly Father which is always underneath us, even when we feel we are hanging on barely by the skin of our nails…