i’m on vacation this week

i’m on vacation this week in Southern California (Orange County, Westminster area to be more exact), and sent an email out to a dozen friends, in hopes of getting together to hang out.. only one person replied back.. tragic- what am i supposed to feel?

was talking with my mother-in-law yesterday, and i was surprised by the transparency of the conversation.. it wasn’t exactly a dialogue where there was interaction both ways, but it was very open sharing.. i don’t know why it is that people feel like they have to hide behind facades, make themselves look like they’re strong and got it all together, when we all go through life with questions, struggles, challenges, joys, and sorrows.. that’s what life is, and we can share it.. i call this my open book philosophy, and i live my life in the open.. people can see what’s going on in my heart and soul.. i think i came to this realization maybe 5 years ago or so.. i’ve got nothing to lose really, by sharing all that i am and all that i have.. if people think less of me for being less than perfect, so be it- what they thought of me without knowing me wasn’t real anyways.. this is so liberating- doesn’t mean i say everything on my mind as a knee-jerk reaction, but it does mean being wide open with as much as i’m aware of.. makes for good poignant conversations, for those who are interested and can reciprocate..

visited 2 churches yesterday: Newsong (in Tustin) and Urban Mosaic (in SoHo), incredible experiences.. but in the back of my mind, I wonder to myself, how do these types of churches _demonstrate_ love to the newcomers and visitors.. i went in observation mode, and felt mostly out of place.. i don’t like that feeling.

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