how to find a mentor
I asked my coaching friend, Kirk Kirlin, this question: “How do you find a mentor?” The essence of his answer is:
- get clear on what you need from a mentor
- ask someone to mentor on a specific topic
- if one declines, ask another to mentor
Watch the video to see him explain it.
Mentoring doesn’t have to be so overwhelming; mentoring is just someone who has resources to help you in a specific area. (cf. What does a mentor do? another video with Kirk)
Mentoring doesn’t have to be a rigorous program. It could flow out of a relationship. It could be focused on a task or project. It could be short-term or long-term. Sounds like to me there’s several different kinds of mentoring.
2 insightful remarks Kirk made: “Nobody is as committed to your development as you are.” and, “It’s not appropriate to ask someone to mentor [me] in all of life.”
What do you think? Add a comment and chime in…
I have found that few people mentor formally well. I think they usually make it too complicated and have some sort of Jedi training scenario in their heads. It is often simple. Discuss problems, be a sounding board, make recommendations if you have something, and say you don’t know if that is true. Thre is no need to develop a curriculum, that is more of an appreniceship. Mentoring is relationship based with hands one issues discussed while an apprenticeship is more task based with a demonstration and evaluation component. Of course there is a lot of variation in what people practice between the two.
A long time ago, I heard that a person needs 3 kinds of relationships in their life (based on the ministry of Paul): someone they can pour into and help move forward in the areas that God is growing them, a spiritual peer/friend who loves them because of (and in spite of) who they are right now, and someone who can pour into them and help them to take the next step forward. I have always found this to be a balanced and powerful perspective as to how mentoring can/should fit into our lives.