differentiated, settled, spiral

being differentiated.. to be settled enough in one’s own identity gives a lot more mileage for relational energy and satisfaction than to mope around or using other tactics to surface the issues and feeling the dissatisfaction of how a relationship is not going, be it too shallow or disengaging.. to look at Jesus’ wisdom, to love your neighbor as yourself, does presuppose and assume the individual’s innate ability to care for oneself.. for the people that do not care for themselves, and indulge in expensive and/or destructive habits, that’s not much more than sabotage and an endless spiral