Asian American males

Question>> I noticed many Asian christian men have an unrealistic view of marriage or are afraid to get married once they’re in a relationship – this in contrary proportion to my observations of white Christian men and I’m talking about committed believers – what is about 2nd generation Asian American guys?

djchuang >> While your question is asked out of sincere curiosity based on your personal observations, it may be offensive to some who are sensitive about cross-cultural comparisons. With that disclaimer ackowledged, let me try to interpret that observation a little bit.

Most of not all men, regardless of cultural background or ethnicity, have an unrealistic view of marriage, and has fear about marriage and committed relationships. There’s some truth to the stereotype that men are afraid of commitment, and that stereotype comes from the mainstream, largely white, culture. The difference you observe may be mostly this: that there are different cultural expressions of how that unrealistic view and that fear is expressed. A 2nd generation Asian American may be comparatively less overtly aggressive in pursuing a marriage relationship and/or more thoughtful about counting the cost of it, than his Anglo counterpart. Generalizations such as this are not very helpful, b/c I can find you an Asian male that is much more aggressive than an Anglo male, so do be careful in how you share your observations. It may be more helpful to help men of all backgrounds to deal with their common fears and misperceptions (cf. Larry Crabb’s Silence of Adam — generally, Asian men express silence differently than Anglo men, but both may be silent nevertheless).

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  1. sandy says:

    hello. i am looking to become friends with and possibly permanent long-term relationship with an asian man. i am a black female, 38 in the Chicagoland area. God bless you, amen.