Jan 302010

Thanks to Chris Hornsby of Next Generation Mentoring, I got a review copy of Mentor Like Jesus, by Regi Campbell with Richard Chancy.

This book lays out a very clear mentoring process to reproduce leaders of a particular type. Regi Campbell is an entrepreneural leader and knows how to get results in the marketplace. The book unpacks his value for being strategic with time, finding what works, and adapting principles from Jesus’ process of disciple-making, in order to invest in next generation leaders who have high potential to impact the world. I can see how this book will be very useful to develop mentoring programs for churches, especially with book royalties going towards funding this purpose.

What the author means by mentoring may not be what some people mean by mentoring. This excerpt contrasts the typical commonly-held meaning of mentoring, and what Regi means by mentoring:

Traditionally, the mentoring relationship is almost always initiated by the mentoree. He has something he wants… a felt need… for guidance, wisdom, advice, or help. Most often these conversations get started around job stuff. The younger man needs advice or access to the older man’s network of contacts. Sometimes it’s a crisis at home… a breech with a wife or child; and the less experienced person wants to confide in someone who’s “been there, done that.” …

Now, is this a type of mentoring? Yes. Is it what Jesus did? No. Jesus initiated the mentoring relationship with His disciples… [p.120]

I don’t know how many people have described what Jesus did with his disciples as mentoring. I have heard of many people who describe what Jesus did as disciple-making or discipling. Certainly what Jesus did with his disciples has changed the world forever. If the goal is to change the world through intentional formative relationships, the terminology doesn’t matter.

One reviewer of Mentor Like Jesus noted the confusion of terms:

It’s no secret that the word “mentor” is a loaded term and can mean something wildly different for people. Some may think of a mentor as someone who meets with them weekly to speak about their professional lives, others may imagine someone on more of an on-call basis who gets together a few times a year. What are healthy expectations in a mentoring relationship?

And that’s what it is. Get clear expectations on both parties, the mentor and mentoree — do you want mentoring in the traditional sense or mentoring in the disciple-making sense?

This is a great book to get everyone on the same page for mentoring as disciple-making, to have a reproducible process that you can “add water and stir” and run with it to pour into leaders who change the world.

Jan 062010

Question >> ” what do u think of this paid church coaching trend? is it biblical? Somewhere deep down, I just can’t imagine Paul turning to Timothy and saying I’ll help you for $250 per month? ”

djchuang >> coach and teamI am seeing a growing trend of people offering their services as a coach or mentor. There’s already been a growing trend of coaching professionals in the past decade (cf. Professional Coaches and Mentors Association, International Coach Federation, CoachInc.com, International Association of Coaching, MentorCoach), and now there are coaching programs specifically for the church & ministry world.

It can be said that just as you’d have a coach to help you perform as an athlete, or hiring a coach to improve your golf or tennis game, people can hire a coach for developing their leadership capacity. This is all acceptable in the sports world, in the business & non-profit organizational world (cf. executive coaching), in the personal development & self-improvement world (cf. life coaching), and yet the practice has raised some questions in the church & ministry world. (i.e. Ministry Coaching International, Leadership2Go: an online mentoring community, Partners in Church Consulting Coaching Network, Next Coaching Network, International M Network’s 7-Day Mentoring Immersion, Expo Coaching, Pastors Coaching Network, Celera Group, to name a few)

While there is some overlap between mentoring, coaching, spiritual formation, teaching & training, disciple-making, the distinction isn’t paid vs. unpaid. Right? I’ve personally benefitted greatly from all of these kinds of relationships, both paid and unpaid.

Should coaches & mentors be paid or not? Here’s what I think at this time: the Bible doesn’t forbids payment being involved in these relationships per se. Just as there are pastors who are paid and those who are unpaid, there are coaches who are paid and unpaid. So for me, this matter is one of freedom and personal conscience.

Personally, I think I’m at an age and stage of life where I may be called upon to be a coach or mentor to a few others. I’d love to do that for free, personally. However, not being financially independent, I do have to use a large portion of my time to earn wages to provide for myself and family. Where money fits in the equation is that if I were to be paid as a coach or mentor, then I would be able to commit more time and energy to it than if I volunteered as a mentor.

Would you pay for a coach or mentor? Why or why not? How do you decide when you would be an unpaid mentor to someone else, and when you’d charge money for being a coach / mentor?

[photo credit: jfre81]

Jan 012010

During my time in St. Louis this week, Twitter connected me with 2 online friends: Kyle Reed and Andrew Kim. [aside: and a handful of others too, including a ride to church on Sunday]

The lil’ Flipcam caught a few sound bites of our (on-going) conversation about mentoring — watch video:

So, what is mentoring anyways? And what about coaching? discipleship? spiritual direction? friendship? apprenticing? training?
Continue reading »

Dec 282009

I asked my coaching friend, Kirk Kirlin, this question: “How do you find a mentor?” The essence of his answer is:

  1. get clear on what you need from a mentor
  2. ask someone to mentor on a specific topic
  3. if one declines, ask another to mentor

Watch the video to see him explain it.

Mentoring doesn’t have to be so overwhelming; mentoring is just someone who has resources to help you in a specific area. (cf. What does a mentor do? another video with Kirk)

Mentoring doesn’t have to be a rigorous program. It could flow out of a relationship. It could be focused on a task or project. It could be short-term or long-term. Sounds like to me there’s several different kinds of mentoring.

2 insightful remarks Kirk made: “Nobody is as committed to your development as you are.” and, “It’s not appropriate to ask someone to mentor [me] in all of life.”

What do you think? Add a comment and chime in…

Nov 192009

Where have all the mentors gone? It saddened me to hear that Kyle Reed asked a dozen people to be his mentor, and to be turned down and rejected. What’s up with that?

Watch this interview to hear what Kyle wants to do to change this situation:

Kyle (on twitter @kylelreed) may very well be right, if a young person can’t find a mentor in their church for the Kingdom of God, they’ll find one elsewhere outside the church. So, add your comment below and get this conversation going!

obituary of my mentor

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Jun 262005

BUGNON Robert O. “Buggs” retired Senior Chief, USN 64, entered the gates of Heaven on June 23, 2005 after a courageous battle with cancer. He was born March 2nd, 1941 in Philadelphia, Penn. Served his country with great pride 29 1/2 years including the Vietnam War. Buggs was a devoted husband, loving father, an awesome Paw-Paw, and faithful friend. He truly will be missed. Predeceased by his parents Marc G. and Ann P. Bugnon, also his first wife Kathleen D. Bugnon. Survivors include his wife of 35 years and best friend Ann E. Bugnon. His children Debbie (Jack) Gwynes, Lynne (Todd) Searles, Jennifer Robertson, Randy (Tess) Bugnon, Renee (Will) Clemons. 12 Grandchildren 4 great-grandchildren and 1 great great grandchild to arrive in Dec., one cousin Jeff Burns of Georgia, several brother in laws and sister in laws and a host of friends. Per Buggs request burial will be by cremation. A memorial service has been planned to celebrate his life on Sunday, June 26, 2005 at 5 PM, at his church Westside Christian Family Chapel, 4541 Shirley Ave., Jacksonville, Fl with Pastor Ken Mitchell officiating. In lieu of flowers the family request contributions be made to the Community Hospice 4266 Sunbeam Rd. Jax., FL 32257. Arrangements by Hardage Giddens 5753 Blanding Blvd. Jax., Fl 32244. [from Jacksonville.com]

View/Sign His Guestbook [online until 7/27/05]

[update: online photo album, Remembering Buggs, with photos shown at his memorial service]