And THANK YOU for being a regular reader or even a random visitor to my website and blog here at djchuang.com! Thank you Twitter followers and Facebook friends too!

(aside #2: It’s hard to make these lists of people to thank, because I don’t like leaving people out, as a highly-inclusive kind-a-guy… the list above are those that have made the biggest difference, you make a difference too, just not as big as theirs, in my life, yet…)

Dr. John Coe has given these spiritual formation talks on numerous occasions, about why we still sin when we know so much. Hearing these talks is so freeing and liberating. During his seminary-level course, he’d take 5 lectures to unpack this thorough understanding of our heart (the core of our being: intellect, will, and desire) and its innate remnant capacity to sin. Here’s several recordings for you. Those who have ears, let them hear.

BiblicalTraining.org has online courses with Dr. John Coe, these two below posted with outlines –

Spiritual Formation Class: Why We Sin When We Know So Much, part 1 of 2 (TH250-3)
What is in our heart determines how we act. There is more going on in our heart than what shows on the surface. In our hidden heart, we often have negative beliefs and desires that affect our actions.

A. Introduction
1. Ephesians 4:22ff
B. The Christian faith is foremost about the heart
1. “Heart” is used for the real or core person.
2. The heart directs our life. What is in the heart determines our whole of life.
3. Principles
C. Why is the heart so impregnable and slow to change?
D. Things to know about a biblical understanding of the hidden heart
1. There is always more going on in the hidden heart than what is on the surface.
2. The degree to which we have a hidden heart of negative beliefs and desires that have not been dealt with is the degree to which we are not in control of that material and it can control us.

Spiritual Formation Class: Why We Sin When We Know So Much, part 2 of 2 (TH250-4)
When we sin, it’s often the result of sin in our heart that has deep relational and historical roots. God wants us to pursue Him so he can transform us from the inside.

D. Things to know about a biblical understanding of the hidden heart (cont)
3. Thus, most Christians do not intend to sin; rather, they just leak.
4. This “leaking” is all about warring beliefs and desires in the heart.
5. Thus, most sins are not intentions of the moment but are merely the tip of the habitual iceberg.
6. Thus, beware of “prayers of magic” or avoidance to have God take away sins.
7. Becoming a Christian can even exacerbate this problem of not knowing your heart.
8. No amount of surface correcting or behavioral change will transform the heart.
9. Self-awareness is a necessary ingredient but by itself will not transform the heart.
10. The process of transformation requires a power strong enough to penetrate into your heart to resolve whatever need at the core is driving you.
E. How does God open the heart and begin the process of change-transformation?
1. Opening the heart in honesty to the Word of God in prayer.
2. Trials and “thorns in the flesh” (2 Cor 2:7-10)
3. Opening to God’s sovereign work of transformation in all circumstances.
4. Fellow believers
5. Prayer and soul work
F. God delights not in sacrifice, but a broken and contrite heart.

Also online as part of the Spiritual Formation Lecture Series [iTunes link] with Dr. John Coe, Biola University — This five-part lecture series featuring Dr. John Coe provides listeners with an in-depth integrative theology of Christian spiritual formation and soul care. Hosted by the First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton and co-sponsored by the Institute for Spiritual Formation and Talbot School of Theology.

• School of Spiritual Direction (via Larry Crabb)
• Renovare
• Dallas Willard on spiritual disciplines & formation
• TrueFaced (aka Leadership Catalyst)
• Institute for Spiritual Formation (Talbot School of Theology and Biola University)
• Cloud & Townsend
• the Association for Christian Character Development (ACCD)
• Soul Renovation Ministries
• Monvee
• SOULeader Resources

It seems to me that a slightly increasing number of church & ministry leaders are going after these spiritual & heart matters to help people be more like Jesus. Well, some of them say it that way. Others might use different language and terms. Each probably have their own “spiritual growth” model.

In my own thinking (at the time of this writing) I think there is overlap between any of these categories: spiritual formation, spiritual direction, personal coaching, mentoring, discipleship, sanctification…

And somewhat like brands of clothing, people may be fiercely loyal to the genre of spiritual formation that’s been most transformative for them. It’s not the kind of thing that people go comparison shopping for, and let’s hope it doesn’t become commoditized that way.

And, to let my own bias show, it’s not really about the content or exercises of a spiritual formation program. It’s about one’s response to the Holy Spirit, and more telling, the person’s willingness to give permission for (a few trusted) others to speak into their lives.

Why I think this to be the case — it’s an idea from Fierce Conversations, “All conversations are with myself, and sometimes they involve other people.” So when a person goes through exercises, even if guided, it’s all too easy to reinforce one’s own perceptions. Until someone else can call out and speak to the matters of the heart, and the blind spots, transformation rarely happens to the degree that it could.

When I hear an overused word, I wonder to myself: have we lost the creative use of our vocabulary? Wouldn’t it be better to use other more descriptive words instead of defaulting to overused ones?

The word of the day is BUSY. In response to the question, “How have you been?” it’s easy to answer, “Busy.” Or, someone reluctantly starts a conversation with, “I know you’re busy…” Then there’s the times when we look at the calendar and say, “It’s going to be a busy week.” Include the sigh. Aside: while composing this blog post, another 187 tweets with the word “busy” got twittered.

The thing is, life is busy. That’s just part of life. We’re not in school any more; we’re thrust into the real world of adult responsibility. (I’m assuming that most blog readers here are older than high school and college age.)

I prefer to say that “I like to live an active lifestyle.” Seems redundant to say that I’m busy; overstating the obvious. Meaningless.

[photo credit: mrmole]

The incident regarding Deadly Viper had set the online world ablaze, and very uncomfortable words of pain festered in the open space [cf. read this summary]. My prayer was that the key leaders at the core of the conflict would resolve it privately, walking through their respective pains together with each other. This direct conversations has since happened offline in private, and an appropriate resolution is in the works. A public statement has been issued. I commend all involved for giving of their time and energy to walk thru this via dolorosa.

There’s already quite a number of thoughtful reflections about this incident posted::

• Jonathan Brink, who linked to reflections from Dan Iwao, Todd Thomas, Marian Wang, Edward Gilbreath, Dave Ingland, LT Tom.
• Eugene Cho, Charles Lee, David Park, Shaun King, Glennis Shih, Skye Jethani, Rudy Carrasco, Drew Hyun, Ed Cyzewski, Daniel So, Jim Gray, DK Daniel Kim, Kathy Khang, and more…
• [update] more from David Swanson, Church Marketing Sucks, Ken Fong, Joel Hamernick, Benson Hines, Scott McClellan, Andrew Lee, Dave Diller, Jessica Pegis, Melody Hanson, Jonathan Tran, Bo Lim, Amy Moffett
• [update 11/19] Zondervan Statement Regarding Concerns Voiced About “Deadly Viper: Character Assassins” via @eugenecho‘s Zondervan Pulls Deadly Viper from Stores and the Deadly Viper website shut down by authors Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite; Dave Gibbons’ thoughts Zondervan Issues Apology for Publishing ‘Deadly Viper’ (CT Liveblog); open letter response from Eugene Cho, Ken Fong, Helen Lee, Kathy Khang, Soong-Chan Rah, Nikki Toyama-Szeto

I want to offer a few more ideas in debriefing, with which I’d anticipate some people would disagree with. Conflict in the open was a good thing for 3 reasons [cf. The Necessity of Open Disagreement by Stephen Shields] ::

• This shows us what conflict resolution can look like. Conflict is not a pretty thing. We’ve all seen how ugly it can get, how destructive it can be, how it can ruin relationships. By being in the open, via social media, we saw how the conflict surfaced and moved towards live offline discussions, apologies, forgiveness, working towards resolution. There is a better way through the conflict. After all, conflict simply is. And I for one am tired of overly-positive spin that’s all too common in evangelical circles; I think the younger generation can smell spin a mile away.
• We heard new voices open up their heart and soul. While I did not read every single comment in the initial blog posts, a wide range of voices from new names spoke up, both Asian and non-Asian. It is not easy for anyone to share their pains, particularly Asian Americans, for fear of being misunderstood, misrepresented, or shamed. Asians tend to be a little more (or a lot more) sensitive than non-Asians because of its shame-based culture. Social media empowers anyone and everyone to speak out. This helps us to empathize with the offended much more than signing a petition. (Now, not every Asian American finds this publication offensive, granted.)
• We’ve got a long way to go with racial sensitivities in the church. A loooong way. Conflict that arose up over a relatively minor incident, in the whole scheme of things, shows how little experience we collectively have to just start any discussion about faith and race. And, yeah, these issues are complicated and messy. They don’t sell books nor increase conference attendance nor make churches grow rapidly in size. It doesn’t fit neatly in the systematic theology section.

Now a personal confession. I knew about an earlier edition of this book back in September 2007. I did not get a copy of the book. I did not look out for the authors to review their book to find out how the Asian motifs were being used, in case it might come across racially insensitive. I did not bear the burden for my fellow Asians Americans (the sensitive ones, not the insensitive ones). For my part in this neglect, I am sorry. [No if and or buts.]

Got to connect with Mary Beth Stockdale on this wetoku video chat interview today. We talked about her experience in being a part of a community with the LifeChurch.tv online church, and how online relationships are just as real as their offline counterparts.

Tony Steward (LifeChurch.tv’s Online Community Pastor) recently wrote a great explanation for how online church offers real ministry and engagement in response to concerns about online church. I’m glad we can also hear about the value and impact of online community from a participant, too, in above video.

You can meet Mary Beth, Tony, and others in person at Cultivate Conference on October 27th in Chicago.

My upcoming multi-site road trip next weekend triggered my exploration on what to do with my online content. You might call this “content segmentation.” Here’s where my content is now being posted:

djchuang.com – my personal blog here will remain the place where I write out my more lengthy color commentaries on my eclectic thoughts and personal feelings

twitter.com/djchuang – @djchuang is my main twitter feed with updates primarily covering the topics of faith and culture, and joining in on related conversations

twitter.com/djchuang247 – @djchuang247 is my new twitter feed with updates that will be reveal glimpses of my personal everyday life and more extensive commentaries and sound bites during conferences I attend

daily.djchuang.com – this is my tumblr-powered daily blog that’ll mix mostly a photo blog and an audio blog, with occasional deep-dive event live-blogging

facebook.com/djchuang – this connects me to a smaller circle of people. If I instinctively recognize the face or name, I’ll accept a friend request. If not, sorry.

friendfeed.com/djchuang – this will get you everything in my lifestream, including blogs, tweets, yelps, delicious, flickr, youtube, etc.

I also contribute to these blogs as a part of my professional career life:

• L2 Foundation blog – relevant items to develop leadership and legacy for Asian Americans
• Books @ Leadership Network – Practical innovations from books that leaders are reading
• Digital @ Leadership Network – church tech blog for non-techies
• Learnings @ Leadership Network – what innovative churches are doing
• Multi-site Church blog – informing & equipping churches to reach people at multiple locations

I’ve heard not everyone wants to read everything I have to write or comment on everything, particularly some of the inane personal things I’m doing at the moment, to which I even say to myself, “so what?” I’ve even had one person _block_ me on Twitter just to make sure he doesn’t get my too-frequent updates — when all he had to do is unfollow me.

All of us have to be selective on what content we’ll subscribe to, filter through, follow, or manage. No offense taken if you choose only a portion of my lifestream.

[photo credit]

I see the world as a place of new possibilities and unpredictability, and I dislike being in the driver’s seat or controlling time, things, or other people. Then I get called on it– that everyone has control issues.

Thinking back my educational life, there were many courses on reading, writing, and arithmetics. And there was a mix of science classes about how things work in the created world, history classes about what has happened in generations before us, and in higher ed, more specialized knowledge imparted in political science, communications, philosophy, sociology, theology, technology, law, medicine, economics, engineering, arts, architecture, music, business, and so on.

Notably absent: every day life in the areas of relationships, personal finances, housekeeping, using tools, cooking, life management. Let’s assume these topics don’t belong in academia, where topics of studies are mostly cognitive. If not in schools, then where do people learn this stuff of life?!

I can think of a few: at home, from media like television and movies, and how-to books.

In the world we live in, be it America or elsewhere, broken homes and domestic messiness, home doesn’t seem to be the best place to learn good things. Movies and television aim at entertainment, whether sensationalism to feed our warped sense of curiosity or storytelling about the human condition.

Maybe this is why book series like Idiot’s Guides, Books for Dummies, How-to books for do-it-yourselfers, and self-improvement take up more shelf space in bookstores and libraries. Books written by self-proclaimed experts.

The source of common sense remains a great mystery… God help us all.

I attended my first Catalyst conference, which ended a few hours earlier, and undoubtedly the most highly-charged energetic kind of Christian leadership event I’ve ever attended. I do love going to these events to meetup with people in person and not so much to attend the sessions — I buy the recordings for the content. I can always get the content plus have the ability to rewind and review, whereas being able to talk with people face-to-face is irreplaceable.

I did hear several of the messages, and sure it moves me to do something. Everything grabs my attention. Everything is urgent. Everything is so compelling. Everything is so good.

Kinda feels like being drawn and quartered. It’s a tough call to choose the one that God has for me, and that is not everything. I can’t do it all.

Plus, It’s less easy for me because I don’t think of myself as a natural born leader, or an organizational leader type. It seems to me that most, if not all, of these platformed Christian leaders are driven Type-A goal-oriented entrepreneurs who have launched their own organizations. So when I hear them, it takes an enormous effort for me to translate all of that into something that could work for me.

Sure, God can do it all. And I could take a flying leap of faith and “trust God” blindly. The impulsive and spontaneous me would love to sell all and follow Jesus, to jump into a new endeavor with full abandon and see the hand of God move. But, that naive leap would hurt me badly. Been there. Done that.

I confess I haven’t figured it out. And I have to keep leaning into God to walk by faith and not by sight. No leaping. Just walking.

Aside: the audios and videos from The Gospel Coalition 2009 are online already and free to listen and watch! One of my favorites is Tim Keller’s The Grand Demythologizer: The Gospel and Idolatry.

Here are his Top Ten Values as Peter taught them to him over their 20-year relationship:

1. Build on the islands of health and strength.
2. Work only with the receptive and only on what’s trying to happen.
3. Go big or go home. Focus, don’t do dribs and drabs.
4. Giving is not a result – changed lives are.
5. The fruit of my work grows up on other people’s trees.
6. The entrepreneurial-style leader is where the leverage begins.
7. Bet on a great leader with a big idea.
8. The essential ingredient for success is a steady stream of innovation.
9. “It’s your job to release and direct energy, not to supply it.”
10. Structure follows strategy, and strategy begins with clear desired outcomes. To What End?

And how inspiring it is to see how he’s focused his life to some core things that exemplify his calling. See these Cliff Notes [PDF] to how Bob Buford is living his life and using his time, talent, and treasure.

What prompted me was listening to a Menlo Park Presbyterian Church podcast, of an 11/26/08 interview with Steve Seabolt about Randy Pausch, with John Ortberg (video | audio). Steve was a close friend of Randy, even being with Randy during his last moments. Steve described Randy’s faith convictions as follows:

“So Randy chose not to talk about faith, and a lot of people very wrongly concluded that he was not a Christian, or he was not a believer. And that simply wasn’t the case. Religion as Randy had so often seen it practiced was more about words and divisiveness, than action. And he believed in Christianity in action, and not so much talking about it.”

The Wikipedia entry for Randy Pausch notes that his faith was Unitarian Universalist, with the family regulars at First Unitarian Church of Pittsburgh.

As a person of faith, it’s my opinion that none of us have a perfect theology, though some people think they have the gold standard. I’m not one to venture to say I have the “ONE” right one out of the 3,000+ Christian denominations and sects. While I certainly do not agree with the Unitarian understanding of God, the comment by Randy’s friend Steve does give us pause to re-consider and not be so quick to judge someone’s faith convictions. I’m not God, and neither are you.

From the videos I watched of Randy’s lectures and interviews, he did have a good perspective and understood the value of life. What was compelling was not the profoundness of his insights, but that he knew his life was terminal, and did not give up on living life to the full. That got people’s attention. Some of the salient quotes I caught:

• tell the truth all the time
• we can’t change the cards we’re dealt, just how we play our hand
• [live with] no regrets, [and able to say that you] gave it your best shot
• [about the last lecture] It’s not about achieving your dreams, it’s how to lead your life. And, the talk is not for you, it’s for my kids.
• Think of time as a commodity.. you can never get time back; you can always earn more money..

The last quote is the one that is still swirling around in my brain matters. It came from Randy Pausch on Time Management w/ associated lecture notes.

Truth of the matter is, all of our lives are terminal. My days are numbered.

Contrasting the journey and the destination, I’m much more excited about the journey and who comes along with me, and very uninterested in the destination or goals or milestones. I ask myself: what would it look like to live my life well?

Peter Scazzero is one of the few authors that compellingly connect spiritual maturity and emotional life. Since he’s got a couple of published books, that lends reliability and rings authoritative more than articles I’ve found randomly on the internet. [ cf. official website, EmotionallyHealthy.org, has resources for individuals, groups, and even church-wide; video introduction to emotionally healthy spirituality ]

Jay’s Library noted these 4 points from Peter Scazzero’s book, The Emotionally Healthy Church [read Jay's comments too]::

1. It Is Impossible To Be Spiritually Mature Without Being Emotionally Mature.
2. To Be Emotionally Mature You Must Be Willing To Look Beneath The Surface.
3. To Be Emotionally Mature You Must Go Backward To Go Forward.
4. To Be Emotionally Mature You Must Learn To Manage Pain.

Ginger comments about Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy Spirituality book ::

… It’s the most down-to-earth, spiritually practical and inspiring book I’ve read in a very long time…

Peter Scazzero, the author, makes the point that you may be spiritually committed, yet so emotionally unhealthy that it renders you spiritually unhealthy. He states that unless we deal with our emotional immaturity we can’t be effective or whole as Christians, and in fact it can cost us everything.

… I wanted to buy a copy for each of about fifteen people in my life. That, my friends, is the mark of a life-changing book.

Kevin Martineau listed the “Top Ten Symptoms of Emotionally Unhealthy Spirituality” from Scazzero’s book::

1. Using God to Run from God: At times we use Christian activities as an unconscious attempt to escape from pain.
2. Ignoring the Emotions of Anger, Sadness, and Fear
3. Dying to the Wrong Things: Some people believe that the miserable you are the more that God loves you.
4. Denying the Past’s Impact on the Present
5. Dividing Our Lives into “Secular” and “sacred” Compartments
6. Doing for God instead of being for God
7. Spiritualizing away conflict
8. Covering over brokenness, weakness, and failure
9. Living without limits
10. Judging others people’s spiritual journey

Read the original list with descriptions for each of the Top Ten Symptoms of Emotionally Unhealthy Spirituality [pdf] via the official website.

And, there’s one more thing.

I just found this series of 16 talks titled Emotionally Healthy Spirituality from Newheart Foursquare Church (Simi Valley, CA) by Paul Kuzma. Though I haven’t listened to them all, yet, I have faith that these would be wonderfully holistic and healthy for the heart and soul.

Frankly, it’s overwhelming to me. The past 2 weeks have been humbling to me, and I’ve had to slow down. And, Craig Groeschel spoke to this powerfully last Sunday. Towards the end of my travel season, some circumstances have indicated to me that I gotta pace myself better and add margin. No need to worry about me — my health is fine.

So, what I’m learning is to not push myself so hard, trying to be frenetically driven, always looking for ways to be more productive, more excellence. It strikes me as being more workaholic. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do our best, or that we shouldn’t grow and improve ourselves. Not to say we shouldn’t achieve and do great things. What I am saying is there’s more to being human and healthy and sanity.

It doesn’t help that I’m surrounded by so many task-oriented driven high-achievers. I’m just little ol’ me, relational-oriented, not goal-oriented, and all about conversations and connections. At the end of the day, it’s all about relationships, as stories of deathbed last words goes.^[t] Sigh.

Here’s a thought, just came to me: it’s people from afar that care about achievements. It’s the people up close who care about their relationship with you, who love you for being you.^[t]

On another note, random finds for this Saturday:

• LifeShare gets a mention at ReadWriteWeb tech blog where 237,000 subscribers read it. whoa.
• Andrew Seely got his current job b/c he twitters! And, I lunched with him and Spencer yesterday.
• Thrilled to see David Park‘s Faith Perspective published in AsianWeek’s Beyond Borders section: Faith Perspective Requiem + Learning to Draw Pictures of God + Asian Americans and the Necessity of Faith; Daniel Eng rightly sees that there’s more to explore re: race, ethnicity, and Gospel; I say, let’s not perpetuate a generic color-less evangelicalism
• Mister Wong – another social bookmarking, one that’s multi-lingual and has a Chinese name
• BLANKSPACES – co-working location in Los Angeles, great for web workers, wish one was closer to me

But, my body can’t keep up. Much as I love activities, and innovative ideas for change, my psyche and emotions hasn’t been able to track with it all. This smacked me up the back of my hard when I moved cross country from DC to OC. Every 5 years or so, I have this tendency to use a stress chart like a checklist.

For the sake of my psychological well-being and health, I’m slowing down so I can do more. Just a tad. Not more in a quantitative way but in a qualitative way that’s more wholistically healthier for me.

Instead of frenetically rushing from one event to the next, I’ll consciously slow down– drive slower, walk slower, pause, sit still. A moment or a couple of minutes here and there.

In so doing, here’s what I’m learning:

• better ability to focus. While I’m (still) very attracted to stimulus with my overactive “input” strengthsfinder theme, slowing down gets me to focus on one thing, drill down on the topic at hand, get something done with less hyper-active multi-tasking.
• less fear of solitude. I used to hate being alone; you might say I’m an introvert who hates being alone. Something happened in the past couple months, where I think God’s freed me up from fearing solitude. Contributing factors: A part of it from reading The Shack. Meaningful soul conversations. My mind has (somewhat) reframed my fear of abandonment, and my heart awakened to more of God being my constant companion. Now, I don’t love being alone, and I can’t home office solo all day, but the paralyzing fear is (mostly) gone. For that I say Hallelujah and thank God profusely.
• feelings don’t control me (as much). I’m more able to make a conscious choice and decide on my action or inaction. Less knee-jerk reactions or impulsiveness. I’m even holding off an iPhone upgrade to stave off instant gratification. Mind you, I’m not a strong-willed guy.
• recovering my spiritual life. Be still and know God. Hearing from God again. Takes me 20 to 30 minutes to quiet down. Gaining insights into my heart and soul, healing, personal growth, give myself away, confessing my idols.

* Caveat: It’s not that I want to accomplish more goals per se — goals and results are important, but I don’t have a list of life goals (cf. Mark Batterson) or a bucket list. What I do want, and what gets me up in the morning, is [intangible] life experiences: enjoying relationships with friends and family, connecting people and resources, travelling to places (gotta go more internationally in my next season), meeting up with more people, eating at foodie spots, find the next great web app, helping people, dreaming of possibilities.