Though I wasn’t able to list it on Amazon as a free ebook (but I did list my eBook there for easier download), I can post it here as a free download.

• Download ebook in .MOBI format - for Kindle [instructions]
• Download ebook in .EPUB format - for iBook on iOS (iPad), Nook, Sony, etc [instructions]
• Read it online via Issuu or Slideshare

For me, it’s about the speed to publish. (so not everything is perfectly formatted; and this also gives me an opportunity for me to experiment and to learn digital publishing on different platforms)

The e-book that’s I’ve just published is a compilation of blog posts from my 12 years of blogging that will serve as the starting point for telling more about my life. I’ve dubbed it a “chronological edition” because the blog posts are ordered chronologically, and the book title is tentative. In the final edition, I think the ebook’s length will more than double in size, as I’ll be expanding on a number of issues, including: depression, bipolar disorder, career choices, and identity formation. As a bunch of blog posts, the ebook is obviously disjointed and not an easy read.

I realize that I don’t have a most sensational life story like some others who’ve  been published, be it a courageous battle with disease, growing up in adverse circumstances, turning from a life of drugs and/or crime, or going from rags to riches. On the one hand, I see myself as an average guy, and yet, I also know I’m terribly unconventional so it’s taken many years to begin to feel comfortable in my own skin.

My thinking about the book is to just tell the story and avoid being prescriptive. In that sense, it won’t be in the genre of self-help nor inspirational. The telling of the story itself is the point. Maybe this is a new genre? But I am eager to hear feedback from you readers as to how I can better shape this ebook to be of more help to people.

In the ebook, I explain more of why I’m writing this ebook and what’s prompted me to author at this stage in my life. So, please do download it, read it, and provide much needed feedback. Your voice matters!

Whether the final edition will be published by a traditional publisher or if I’ll be self-publishing is yet to be determined. Either way, it will be published and not perish.

In the 21st century, what ought to be published is no longer is prohibited by the market. (others who have self published: Ben Franklin, Ezra Pound, Emily Dickinson, Thomas Paine, Jane Austen, Walt Whitman, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Virginia Woolf)  And, I will make the final edition available in digital and print formats.

Dave notes that innovations could happen on the fringe or in smaller contexts that are nimble to try new things (“some would insist that innovation happens at the edges… smaller churches often seed new ideas and innovations into the Christian ecosystem…”) but asserts how an innovative idea spreads requires influentials and influencers on a larger scale — “… pushing an idea across the broad expanse, from an obscure starting point… there is a need for ‘opinion leaders’ to get on board… the diffusers of innovation…” And those influencers are by and large leaders in very large churches. Size attracts attention.

Yet, once an influencer doesn’t mean always an influencer. Dave noticed this: “Old conference notebooks reveal to us that many of the 2002 thought leaders are no longer at the center of our ecosystem. Yet they built the steps to this year’s platform.”

And Dave explains why large churches are valuable to our society: “… large churches are the most effective and efficient bundlers of social capital in a community… the best equipped to mobilize large groups of people to use their time, talent, and treasures for purposes that make the neighborhoods better places to live… [even] across the world…”

The book anticipates a number of trends and even some speculations about the future of the American church. And even researchers of global Christianity acknowledge that what happens in the United States still has (disproportionate) influence around the world, even though the center of Christianity has shifted to the south and to the east. I’d interpret that as more people are becoming Christians in parts of Asia, Africa, and South America, but the financial capital is here in the US for the time being, and that can make things happen for a time. In the long run, sheer numbers of people will outlast sheer number of dollars, just a matter of time. Consider, what could Christianity look like in 1000 years, and with that kind of perspective, we won’t be looking just at quarterly numbers or annual reports.

I did want to react to 2 things mentioned in the book.

Firstly, financial transparency in the church. This one is a toughie in the church, and in the non-profit world for that matter. And there may well be a bunch of factors for this, some for bad reasons and some out of fear and ignorance. I believe that if we are truly children of the light and the light of the world that the church can be leading the way in showing how to disclosure finances more than any typical non-profit. In so doing, the church can show how to avoid jealousy about staff salaries and being above reproach in its use of finances. Perhaps I am being too idealistic, but I believe more in the power of good over evil, truth over silence, honesty over hiddenness. Criticism will surface anyways, and even more so, now that everyone has a (potential) voice over the Internet.  And I’d counter misperception with hard data rather than hiding data any day.

Secondly, what about the next Billy Graham? Dave writes, “Billy Graham, the Sequel: Who will be the next great evangelist with a worldwide impact? I’ve predicted for years that we’re likely to see a native of India or some other Asian country, fluent in English, who can appeal to the West.” I wonder if s/he would really emerge from the the East? History tells us that there have been great evangelists from the East, like Watchman Nee or Bakht Singh.

I’d say someone from China might have a better chance at being a global evangelist, and not just because I happen to be of Chinese descent. From sheer numbers, India and China will dominate the population numbers. And so much of the world economy and cash flow is finding a home in China, so much of the clothes and furniture and technology we use today is made in China (including this MacBook Pro I’m typing on.) Yes, that next global evangelist will be internet-savvy, and I’d say more than event-savvy or media-savvy, s/he has got to be social-media-savvy, so it’d look a lot more like reality-tv live-streaming than an on-stage inspirational speaker, tho’ s/he’d have to be quite the motivational speaker too.

[disclosure: I work with Leadership Network]

So why does it seem like Christmas is a bigger deal than Easter? I have my own speculations and theories as to the reasons why, but I sure want to hear from you. Add a comment. Is it the presents? Is it the snow? Is it the holiday movies?

From this unofficial tally of worship services at 20 larger churches in Orange County, California, there were 99 for Christmas vs. 113 for Easter. So maybe Easter is bigger than Christmas for church-goers, and Christmas is bigger for American culture at large?

My family joyously celebrated Christmas at 10 churches this past December. Not sure how many churches we’ll celebrate Easter with just yet. But I am putting a spreadsheet together to begin scheming…

(cf. List of Popular Churches in the OC and Southern California)

All too often well-intentioned Christian ministry leaders / preachers / teachers / people give encouragement with pithy sayings and the quoting the Bible verses, without the demands of genuine compassion that requires entering in and walking alongside someone’s pain and confusion. (cf. Overcoming Anxiety: Dealing with Anxiety and Worry) If you’d not been schooled in the right-of-center flavor of Christianity, the answer to life is always: Jesus, Bible and prayer, not necessarily in that order.

Thank you Rhett for taking a whole different approach, a very personal one at that. By sharing your life and the things you’ve learned along the way, it draws me relationally and I’m freed to know that my own anxiety is not necessarily coming from a place of doubting God and I’m not someone to be fixed per se. And more than that, anxiety can be invitation from God towards a more rewarding faith.

My confession: This book came timely for me as I’d been simmering about anxiety in my life, not in a paralyzing manner from an overwhelming number of choices, but more of an annoying nagging feeling. My anxiety seems to be recurring about performance, and the discomfort of having to evaluate my work, or worse, to have others evaluate it. Whether I success or not, or could do better, or am celebrated for excellence, there’s that thing about performance evaluation that I just plain don’t like. That’s all I got to say about that right now.

[disclosure: I received a complementary review copy]

Get all the recorded talks (plus bonus content) from Verge 2012 for just $49 before Saturday 3/10. Rich and insightful messages you’ll want to digest and discuss with your group of like-minded zealous Christ-followers.

Some people have a degree of uneasiness with calling something that’s orchestrated by an organization as a movement, insinuating that a movement is more pure or more real if it is entirely organic and no one person or no one organization can be pin-pointed as the starting point of the phenomena occurring. Yes, there’s something more interesting about the organic thing, the random and uncontrolled.

I think language is elastic and whether a cause or movement is organized or organic, the intention is that of doing something to rally people and resources to make a difference in the world.

My drawing to the right was to help me sort out movements and how organized institutions and organic individuals fit into a cause. (Albeit oversimplifying something far more complicated.)

The 1st circle (top left) illustrates an organization’s effort to champion a cause, and the organization wants to promote the cause through advocacy and rally resources to its own efforts by recruiting people to serve the organization.

The 2nd circle (top right) illustrates the organic efforts scattered around one unifying cause. No formal organizational entity exists with the branding savvy to advertise and promote the cause, and yet movement is happening by word-of-mouth and word-of-mouse through the collective efforts of individuals and small groups of people.

The 3rd circle shows the mix of the organized and the organic contributing to a bigger movement to championing a cause. An organization could be one of several orgs in the cause/movement. And people who are allergic to the institutional machinery can participate in the cause through their own organic ways. While organizations do their thing to recruit people and mobilize resources for its efforts, a big-sized movement is going to take more than organizational strategies or organic randomness.

One organization can’t tackle a cause or create a movement alone. If it could, the cause isn’t big enough.

Here’s 2 other ways for an organization to go more after the cause rather than its own sustainability (or guarding its own brand or grasping for its own survival): [1] the organization can collaborate and partner with other organizations for some projects when it makes sense. Notice how movies and video games (and NASCAR) shows multiple brands in the opening credits. Don’t go it alone when you don’t have to. And you don’t have to. [2] the organization can equip and resource the organic individuals. Think of the impact that could happen if it’s more about the cause than just being about the organization.

What would you add?

In the Christian podcasting world, most podcasts are sermons or teachings or devotionals or church tech; that’s okay for the masses. I’m looking to check the “other” box, not so much what books tag as “Christian life”; just Christians (and Christian-friendly people) talking about a faith-informed life.

Here’s a list of active podcasts I’ve found so far — if you know others, please do add a comment:

• Frank the Podcast - a humorous and irreverent look at life informed by faith (w @DarinMcWatters et al)
• One Extraordinary Marriage –  Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo share tips and stories on how to create the marriage that you want 
• Something Beautiful - stories worth talking about: stories about God, life, friends, family and why it all matters (w @JDBlundell et al) 
• Foster Parenting – foster parents Tim and Wendy as they discuss foster care and adoption
• Homebrew Christianity – Tripp & Chad crafting, experimenting, imagining, and sharing a Christian faith that is life-giving
• Let’s Talk It’s Relationship - Bob, David, and Loren from Family Room Media discuss real life issues and the exciting journey of life in God outside of institutional Christianity 
• Beyond the Box - life beyond the box of institutional religion 
• Two Blind Squirrels Podcast - Christian comedy podcast that features everything from new contemporary Christian artists to two off key goofs singing about nothing.
• [update] Lifehouse Podcast – discuss how God has influenced our lives and interviews with other Christians [iTunes]
• Frederica Here and Now with Frederica Matthewes-Green and more podcasts at Ancient Faith Radio
• International Arts Movement (IAM) podcast
• The Wally Show – Wally infuses Christian radio with a good balance of humor and heart

Aside: the term “podcast” has been co-opted for audio files posted on a website. Podcasts I’m listing here are those that can be subscribed via iTunes or a podcatcher app (cf. Google Listen or Podkicker on Android), and are recorded & produced only for the podcast show, not recordings from other broadcast media. This list isn’t for dormant podcasts (cf. The Nick & Josh Podcast, Wired Parish), only those that are actively updated, like weekly.

Answer >> There are several churches in the metro Washington DC / Virginia / Maryland area that are predominantly Asian American, or significantly so, oh, let’s say, at least 25%. And by “Asian American churches” I’m assuming English-speaking autonomous churches, not the ethnic Asians that’d be a part of a Korean or Chinese church with an English ministry. As for not driving, what’s awesome about DC is the subway system called Metro that gets you to many parts of DC / VA / MD.

Here’s the ones I know of that demographically fit the description, excerpted from my list of next-gen multi-Asian churches plus a few others. Please do add a comment if you know others:

Washington DC

Washington International Church (NW) [Metro: Tenleytown-AU]
Worthy Life Baptist Church (NW) [Metro: Friendship Heights]

Virginia

Ambassador Bible Church (Centreville)
Great Commission Community Church (Arlington) [Metro: Pentagon City]
New Life Church (Falls Church) [Metro: West Falls Church]

Maryland

H.O.P.E. Church (College Park)

footnote: Open Door Presbyterian Church (Herndon) and Christ Central Presbyterian Church (Centreville) and Grace Community Church (Silver Springs) are what could be considered a “2 churches on 1 campus” model so that could kinda fit too

aside: also see Open Directory of Multiethnic Churches and wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_Washington_Area_Asian_American_demographics

Look at this list actual mission statements below. I confess the meaning of a mission statement is lost on me. I can’t tell what it is that the company or organization is actually doing. So if you’re starting an organization, does this mean you can pick any one of them? They all have good purposes and apparently they’re working.

Maybe a mission statement like this could work just as well: “to make money so the world can be a better place” or “to make a difference in the world by providing good jobs and making great products” or “to give people a great experience“. Yes?

Look for yourself ::

“… to glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us and to have a positive influence on all who come in contact with (us).“

“Be America’s Best Quick-Service Restaurant“

And, these mission statements, all from Fortune 500 companies:

To help all people live healthy lives.

To nourish and delight everyone we serve.

Bringing the best to everyone we touch

Our purpose is to enrich the lives of people we touch.

… to earn money for its shareholders and increase the value of their investment.

Profitable growth through superior customer service, innovation, quality and commitment

… to help people and businesses throughout the world realize their full potential.

Be the best in the eyes of our customers, employees and shareholders

Undisputed Marketplace Leadership

To supply outstanding service and solutions through dedication and excellence.

to provide products and services to the market which meet or exceed the reasonable expectations of our customers.

Our mission is positive outcomes.

We are a market-focused, process-centered organization that develops and delivers innovative solutions to our customers, consistently outperforms our peers, produces predictable earnings for our shareholders, and provides a dynamic and challenging environment for our employees.

Serving Others For Customers A Better Life For Shareholders A Superior Return For Employees Respect and Opportunity

Our goal is to be the leader in every market we serve, to the benefit of our customers and our shareholders.

We are committed to attracting, developing, and keeping a diverse work force that reflects the nature of our global business.

We will provide branded products and services of superior quality and value that improve the lives of the world’s consumers. As a result, consumers will reward us with leadership sales, profit, and value creation, allowing our people, our shareholders, and the communities in which we live and work to prosper.

We will continue to build a corporate culture that respects and values the unique strengths and cultural differences of our associates, customers and community.

Our mission is to design, manufacture, and deliver products and services that meet the unique needs and expectations of each customer.

Dr. John Coe has given these spiritual formation talks on numerous occasions, about why we still sin when we know so much. Hearing these talks is so freeing and liberating. During his seminary-level course, he’d take 5 lectures to unpack this thorough understanding of our heart (the core of our being: intellect, will, and desire) and its innate remnant capacity to sin. Here’s several recordings for you. Those who have ears, let them hear.

BiblicalTraining.org has online courses with Dr. John Coe, these two below posted with outlines –

Spiritual Formation Class: Why We Sin When We Know So Much, part 1 of 2 (TH250-3)
What is in our heart determines how we act. There is more going on in our heart than what shows on the surface. In our hidden heart, we often have negative beliefs and desires that affect our actions.

A. Introduction
1. Ephesians 4:22ff
B. The Christian faith is foremost about the heart
1. “Heart” is used for the real or core person.
2. The heart directs our life. What is in the heart determines our whole of life.
3. Principles
C. Why is the heart so impregnable and slow to change?
D. Things to know about a biblical understanding of the hidden heart
1. There is always more going on in the hidden heart than what is on the surface.
2. The degree to which we have a hidden heart of negative beliefs and desires that have not been dealt with is the degree to which we are not in control of that material and it can control us.

Spiritual Formation Class: Why We Sin When We Know So Much, part 2 of 2 (TH250-4)
When we sin, it’s often the result of sin in our heart that has deep relational and historical roots. God wants us to pursue Him so he can transform us from the inside.

D. Things to know about a biblical understanding of the hidden heart (cont)
3. Thus, most Christians do not intend to sin; rather, they just leak.
4. This “leaking” is all about warring beliefs and desires in the heart.
5. Thus, most sins are not intentions of the moment but are merely the tip of the habitual iceberg.
6. Thus, beware of “prayers of magic” or avoidance to have God take away sins.
7. Becoming a Christian can even exacerbate this problem of not knowing your heart.
8. No amount of surface correcting or behavioral change will transform the heart.
9. Self-awareness is a necessary ingredient but by itself will not transform the heart.
10. The process of transformation requires a power strong enough to penetrate into your heart to resolve whatever need at the core is driving you.
E. How does God open the heart and begin the process of change-transformation?
1. Opening the heart in honesty to the Word of God in prayer.
2. Trials and “thorns in the flesh” (2 Cor 2:7-10)
3. Opening to God’s sovereign work of transformation in all circumstances.
4. Fellow believers
5. Prayer and soul work
F. God delights not in sacrifice, but a broken and contrite heart.

Also online as part of the Spiritual Formation Lecture Series [iTunes link] with Dr. John Coe, Biola University — This five-part lecture series featuring Dr. John Coe provides listeners with an in-depth integrative theology of Christian spiritual formation and soul care. Hosted by the First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton and co-sponsored by the Institute for Spiritual Formation and Talbot School of Theology.

October 15th / 22nd @ Dallas / Houston
Legacy Dialogue 2011: Trust Factor – how to build trust between two generations in ministry – the future of next generation English ministry in the Asian-American church (Partnership of Asian American Churches in Texas)

October 19th @ 11:30am PT in Irvine
NexGen Pastors Gathering with Pastor Jim-Bob Park via NexGen Pastors Fellowship [Facebook group]

October 26th @ 2pm ET – online webinar
“Asian American Ministry and the Deconstruction of Asian American Christianity” Webinar with Dr. Timothy Tseng, sponsored by Judson Press

Like many churches in North America today, Asian American churches are experiencing the loss of their young adults. The new “Silent Exodus” is also about the erasure of Asian American identity and history within American Christianity. Will being Asian American matter in a “post-racial” generation? What does the deconstruction of Asian American Christianity mean for ministry to Asian Americans? What can Christians do to respond to this crisis? Join presenter Dr. Timothy Tseng as he explores and addresses these critical issues.

October 27th @ 9:30pm ET – online livestream
Q&A with Ken Kong, director of Southeast Asian Catalyst

Recordings (audio and video) [iTunes podcast feed] for the Asian American Ministry Program’s Inaugural Conference at SPU June 2011 with Timothy Tseng, Peter Cha, Soong-Chan Rah, Eugene Cho, Gideon Tsang, Ken Fong, Wayne Ogimachi, Nancy Sugikawa, Paul Kim, Bo Lim, Billy Vo, and more

December 27-30 in San Diego
CMC West Coast with Francis Chan and Greg Ogden [Chinese Mission Convention]

19 videos of the Asian American Equipping Symposium at Fuller Seminary, February 2011, with Richard Mouw, Eugene Cho, Bo Lim, Timothy Tseng, Young Lee Hertig, Amos Yong, Chloe Sun, and more

APA Faith Matters – a blog category at 8asians.com curated by Mihee Kim-Kort, with a periodic interview of Asian Pacific American (APA) leaders in various religious contexts

Inheritance Magazine – bi-monthly publication that tackles contemporary topics and issues that each Asian American Christian deals with in his/her life

Other networks that meetup in-person:

• Asian American Theological Fellowship at Fuller Seminary (Pasadena CA) [Facebook group]
• Korean American Pastors Network – Los Angeles area
• English Ministry Fellowship (formerly FACE: Fellowship of American-born Chinese Evangelicals [Facebook group])

Know of other public connection places, on-line or on-site, for Asian American church and ministry leaders? Add a comment, please.

Some people get paid to do what they’re great at doing, some don’t. Getting paid doesn’t mean the best performance. The thing can be whatever: singing, speaking, teaching, blogging, marketing, managing, etc. Here’s the random thing I’m thinking about this Saturday.

How does excellence in performace stack up against one’s skills and paid status? I drew up this diagram to illustrate– those who are gifted (by an act of God or some other metaphysical explanation of your worldview) will always perform better than the best paid professional. This means the gifted have an innate advantage to performance greatness. No amount of money can buy that.

Most professionals will do better than an amateur, because they’re getting more time to hone their skills and performance. The unpaid amateur doesn’t get as much time to get better at what they love to do.

Some are passionate about doing something, but don’t get paid for it- reasons vary. In an ideal world, people should get paid for their passion and skills; in a market-driven economy, money is more a factor of market conditions. Some amateurs are no good at what they do but they sure love doing it. No point bursting their bubble.

What other corollaries or insights do you get from this chart?

Freedom of religion is so important that it is the First Amendment in the Bill of Rights. Part of that 1st amendment gets a ton of visibility and buzz, the part about freedom of speech and freedom of expression. The other part not as much, the part about the freedom of assembly. Both are just as important! The text of the First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

San Juan Capistrano, the city where I work, has cited a home gathering for violating its ordinances. The Fromm’s home hosts a Bible study, which happens to have met on Sunday mornings. I’ve been there a few times. It’s a quiet and contemplative time, not disruptive to the neighborhood.

Their Municipal Code, Section 9-3.301 requires a conditional use permit when a meeting is held in a residential district by “Religious, fraternal, or nonprofit organizations,” and that “includes churches, temples, synagogues, monasteries, religious retreats, and other places of religious worship and other fraternal and community service organizations.”

You’d think that enforcing such laws should be done with utmost caution for its proximity to the 1st Amendment. Verify the details before acting.

San Juan Capistrano decided to enforce this ordinance on the Fromm’s, issuing 2 citations totaling $300 to date. And, the news about the Fromms have spread across mainstream media (msm) and the blogosphere. Sure, zoning for residential areas may have been designed to prevent noise and traffic problems. But that wasn’t the infraction cited. Many neighbors have written letters of support, denying they were disturbed by the presence of the Bible study.

But, the Fromm’s gathering is not a church or nonprofit organization. Their gathering is a group Bible study. Fromms have had Bible study gatherings in their home for years, some larger, some smaller. The larger ones may number like 20 or even 50. They have no intention to establish a church. The latest updates are being posted at the chuckfromm.net blog and Facebook page. [update: short list of links to media coverage, unabridged list]

The question: when a group of people peaceably assemble for whatever, religious or fraternal or non-profit, when is that gathering deemed too large to be personal and requiring a permit and/or non-profit organization? When does a home Bible study become too large and should become a church? And is it okay for a group to decline from setting up a government-sanctioned non-profit organization? Does the government determine what group is a church or isn’t a church? For those with religious convictions, theology is what determines what is or isn’t a church. And theology is not something government wants to get involved in.

[disclosure: I work with Chuck Fromm and Worship Leader magazine]

Scroll down to see all the responses that came in and add your response –

Santa Ono: “A cultural perspective that often places community before self. A tendency to listen well.”

Delwin Archer: “An inspiring discipline, passion and work ethic! A focus on excellence. A love for the arts—especially music.

Grace Yung Watson: “Generosity, hospitality and tenacity to name a few.”

Joe Nho: “A respect for cultural heritage in the assimilation of Christian life.”

Alison Klein Esselink: “… would it be too worldly to mention ‘delicious food’?”

Peter Cha: “Crossing racial/cultural borders through serving ‘others’ and collaboratively working with ‘others’….”

Kathy Khang: “The ability to live in the tension of sometimes competing / opposing cultural value systems.”

Paul Tokunaga: “… the potential to be peacemakers and peacebrokers between blacks and whites

Kathy Khang: “There are so many cultural values (saving face, filial piety, etc.) that when redeemed by God’s love and grace can become powerful in mission. … Asian American women have the gift of having come out of cultures that historically considered them as property but living out the opportunities of equality under and through Christ.

DJ Chuang: “AAs have tons of untapped potential! … I’d add: long-term loyalty, third culture adaptability, global mobility, consensus builder…

Tom Lin: “3 big gifts: (1) multi-lingual and bi-cultural upbringing, (2) ‘non-threatening’ asian face , and (3) highest U.S. demographic group in educational resources and financial income!”

A bigger question would be – what would it take to tap into all that potential? Let’s get a move on!

[aside: I did get permission to post the thread but not yet from each respondent. Will note accordingly as/when I do. ]