how to put a price tag on coaching and mentoring

OK – I admit it. I am the one who posed the question to DJ. I know the arguments for paid coaching and can’t discount the fact that it has helped many, but deep down I can’t help but sense that something is wrong with it though. In some ways I lump conferences with it too.

I still have trouble visioning Paul or any of the early church fathers turning to someone like Timothy and saying, “Timothy, for a mere $250 a month I will be your paid friend, I will disciple you, I will teach you principles of furthering the kingdom, and more!’ But you must pay me for this resource or to join my coaching network.

I will leave out the name, but here is a recent email soliciting me as a church leader, ‘so and so – sets forth a step-by-step, biblically grounded, proven plan for creating immediate church growth by utilizing a “Big Day” to mobilize the church for evangelism. This event will show you what you need to do to reach the unchurched in your community and break through the debilitating growth barriers that are holding you back.

WHile the above was for a seminar, I have received similar promises from other “COACHES” who want me to join their paid network for similar reasons.

Hmm.. Should we give it away to keep it? Should we really share the God given insights God has given us for the furtherance of the kingdom for a fee? I just don’t know. Something I am still praying about but have shyed away from.

I long for the day that we see -register for this conference – “THE FREE CONFERENCE” Learn how to share the free gift of God’s salvation for others with no fee’s and all resources are free. some like Life Church seem to be leaning in this direction and are some of the largest fasting growing churches in the country.

As full disclaimer – I do own a consulting practice. HTTP://WWW.INTEGRITYCSG.COM 99% of our business is paid network consulting and website development. a small percentage of that is with churches. We try to give away everything whenever possible to the churches unless we have to pay for someone’s service, software, or hardware. But 100% on the speaking or advice side about anything regarding helping further the work of the church or coach is done for free.

ahh enough of my 2 cents.. I thank everyone including the coaches for doing their part to further the kingdom of God..

if the mentoring (coming along side of another, disciple-making, “coaching” if you will) can’t be for free, then i think that–in and of itself–says something contrary to the Gospel

The Apostle Paul did charge people for his discipleship.

Sometimes he charged other churches.
Sometimes he charged people who wanted his tents.
And sometimes he charged the very people he was discipling.

But there is a cost to coaching.
And it does get paid by somebody.

Paul only called it a “charge” when someone challenged his intentions. He said -and probably exaggerated to make a point- that if people weren’t paying for their own discipleship, he was robbing other churches.

2 Corinthians 11:7-9
“Was it a sin for me to lower myself in order to elevate you by preaching the gospel of God to you free of charge? I robbed other churches by receiving support from them so as to serve you. And when I was with you and needed something, I was not a burden to anyone, for the brothers who came from Macedonia supplied what I needed. I have kept myself from being a burden to you in any way, and will continue to do so.”

I could make the same argument about my pastor: “I don’t think it’s right that my pastor gets paid for preaching the Gospel. The Gospel should be free of charge.”

But somebody has to pay for it. My pastor can rob other churches or flip burgers until I’m mature enough to handle it. Or I can strain toward spiritual maturity, help cover the cost and relieve the burden from somebody else.

I agree about some of the fees people charge. I’ve been aghast at the fees some pastors require. But all I can do is live by my own convictions.

I wonder if this wave of coaching is a reaction against publishers and conference-makers solely profiting from the influence of pastors. I’ve paid my fair share of “coaching fees” through the number of books I’ve purchased, but now with coaching, the money is bypassing the middle-man.

I think there is a difference between “coaching” and “mentoring.”

The former being more of a relationship that is meant to last for a short while before moving on. Sure, a friendship could be born out of that relationship, but with coaching I see it as benefiting from the experience and skills of another person for a specific purpose.

Mentoring on the other hand, is much more personal. It’s not about learning from another person for a particular skill set but rather sharing experiences together and forming a personal relationship. It moves to a different level and foundation. One that is built upon the ‘Timothy’ learning from the life experiences of the ‘Paul’ and gaining wisdom in the process.

To look at it another way, as a photographer, I might attend a workshop given by another photographer who has a lot of experience in the field and I would be willing to pay for that ‘coaching’ in terms of what he can teach me. However, let’s say we got to know each other know each other on a personal level. We decide to meet for coffee and started having a conversation not about photographic technique, but rather we started discussing vision and creativity, life experiences etc. I would be extremely insulted if he held up his hands and said, “Whoa. I’m going to have to charge you for this.”

Bottom line for me is this:

Pay for coaching? Yes

Pay for mentoring? No.

One day, a woman called me in my psychotherapy office (think counseling and coaching, people) and asked if I would see her son for psychotherapy, for free. She wasn’t in desperate straights, but she was pressed for money. I told her I had a sliding scale fee. Immediately she jumped on her soap box: how dare I charge any fee at all to help her poor child? What kind of a Christian was I, charging money in exchange for help? At the end of the conversation, she had the gall to insist that because I was a woman, I probably didn’t need the money anyways; she assumed I had a man to take care of me (probably a projection from her, since she was no longer married).

I told her I was the kind of compassionate person most people would love to have in their corner, but that I needed to eat and pay my bills too. I gave her a list of referrals in my city for free or low-cost therapy, wished her well, and got off the phone. Honestly, I went and fumed for a whole of five minutes.

I have never felt that the exchange of fee for service in the religious context should be equated with the “market in the temple” mentality. A worker is worth his wages, folks, including the pastor and the pastor’s family on down to the man or woman who cleans the bathrooms and maintenances the church’s computers and databases.

Mentoring is another category. I think I’ll mentor people for the rest of my life, free of charge. But I pay for coaching, and it does not matter to me if that person is religious or not: the services are valuable and deserve compensation for time, expertise, and application.

I have added coaching services to my own practice, purchasing expensive CEU’s on the subject so that I’m in-line for official certification (something that many so-called “expert” coaches don’t even bother to get since there are no federal regulations on coaching yet). It is clearly more expensive than psychotherapy but for the added benefits, coaching is well-worth the price. Makes me think I should raise my rates higher for psychotherapy.

B. Imei Hsu, RN, MAC, LMHC
Seattle Direct Counseling

Lot’s of good discussion and comments here. I think I agree with Imei, like therapy, coaching AND mentoring could be treated on a sliding scale type of concept. If you have knowledge and experience that someone else could utilize, and it takes up your time and expertise, then why shouldn’t you get paid for it? But what and how you charge people should depend. (I know of a Spiriutal Formation program that requires enrollees to “pay” their Spiritual directors a small fee. Maybe it’s kind of like, unless you pay for the gym, you’ll never use it kind of thing.)

I think the sticky part of it comes when you start thinking of it in terms of a business plan, and you get into marketing your business, then you may cross some questionable lines with regard to “ministry”. I’m very often put off by the marketing for the “latest and greatest” strategy for making your church grow bigger-and all you have to do is pay $$$ for the secret.

Then again, it is a “business” and you must market your business to grow your business. But then is it “ministry” like parachurches are “ministry” (Jesus didn’t say, I will build my para-church)?

I think you can’t put a price tag on mentoring but you can put a price tag on spiritual coaching / or better yet, spiritual directorship.

The latter involves professional training (not exclusively in the secular-psychological model mind you) and is a form of pastoral counseling, which in the face of the juggernaut depression – I think is very necessary. If I were pastor of a large staff I would make it requisite for all my staff to reguarly get spiritual directorship, including myself.

As for price tag, that’s hard to pin down, but I think the worker deserves his wages and there is definitely a place for fee-based spiritual direction (albeit a looser honorarium-styled fee). In my town there is an entire minsitry that does this – perhaps it is not so much to price individual visits as much as supporting the ministry at large.

I think that the whole “we’re christians so everything should be free” bit goes too far…and doesn’t value the gifts and talents of certain parts of the body of Christ.

With that said, it sounds good/right that some services should be offered to the church body either free or at a discount in a modified manner. Something of a non-monetary tithe (maybe and awkward idea to some, I know). But, if I went into a church looking for coaching/mentoring, it would be just awesome if they had a list of people who do that same job for pay outside of the church but also volunteer their services inside the church during limited hours. It’s like a gift back to God to say thanks for giving them that gift in the first place. (We should all be doing a version of this!)

I’ve seen this model at a church with counseling care. A person will have a private counseling practice and then give up, say, their tuesday nights to counsel free for the church and anyone can sign up if there are available times. And if people want more consistency or a different time then they can pay the person and see them at their office. I think this could work similarly with mentoring/coaching. If you’re getting something for free, don’t expect to be catered to when and where you can meet. You’re going to have to be flexible and agree to the same sort of sacrificial commitment as the mentor/coach has done for you. It may not always be the same time/place but you’re going to have to flexible and show up!

I know that for a lot of 20-somethings, they desire mentoring and are crying out for someone to help guide them through life/a crisis/a decision/etc. However, what I’ve heard from the mentoring-age crowd is that the 20-somethings are flaky! This made me a bit sad b/c I know of the need but also know of networks of the mentoring aged types who would love to be more involved and the times they have tried…the mentorees have FLAKED. Boo. This is not good news. If we want people to sacrificially commit to us (20-something or any type of mentoree crowd), and share their mentoring/coaching gift that God has blessed them with, then we have to sacrificially commit and show up, consistently.

When this happens, when we can commit to show up, I think the whole mentoring/matching thing will start to gain more momentum. This message needs to be driven home to the 20-something crowd! (Kyle, lead the way!)

I have paid for business coaching before and benefited greatly. It was a positive experience for me.

The trouble with paid coaching/mentoring in the church world is when people use it in lieu of having ‘Paul-Timothy’ lifeline relationships.

When you pay a coach or join a paid network do you feel they OWE you and if they don’t deliver they’re indebted to you. Wonder what, if any, are the spiritual implications of such a relationship in comparison to one where no money exchanges hands.