Dec 122008
 

Continuing the series on “Developing emotional maturity – part 5 of many”. [cf. part 1: what is emotional maturity? part 2: how to develop emotional maturity; part 3: how emotionally maturity is connected to spiritual maturity; part 4: emotional intelligence and emotional maturity]

I confess I’m not exactly sure where to go with this series. I don’t have a road map or content schedule planned out. So I’m going with what’s at my fingertips. This chart comes from Soulwork Systemic Solutions, a coaching system developed by Martyn Carruthers:

And, Guy Kawasaki twittered this online Emotional Intelligence (EQ) test over at about.com. Taking the test just now (there were like 15 questions; I lost count), it told me, “Your results indicate an above average score on emotional intelligence.”

The people there wrote that Emotional Intelligence “refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while other claim it is an inborn characteristic.”

Notice the 3 parts: (1) perceive — being in touch with one’s own emotions; (2) control — which I think means one doesn’t have to impulsively act on one’s feelings, and is not saying that one could or should control one’s feelings; (3) evaluate — which is the ability to discern why one feels that way, or what I like to say, getting at the feelings under the feelings.

Maturity or immaturity isn’t such a binary categorization. One author describes 6 levels of emotional maturity (excerpted from “SELF-CONCEPT: The Enemy Within” by Kevin Everett FitzMaurice):

  1. Basic Emotional Responsibility
  2. Emotional Honesty
  3. Emotional Openness
  4. Emotional Assertiveness
  5. Emotional Understanding
  6. Emotional Detachment

Read the full article for descriptions of these six levels of emotional maturity.

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