I'm not clear on how “self-expression gives way to superficiality”. Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superficial describes “superficial” as “being shallow, materialistic, and … display of emotion which is not necessarily genuine.” Care to clarify?

On top of that add the dynamics of the Chinese culture where closeness is typically demonstrated through actions & not so much verbalized and shown in emotions. In a discussion on Gary Chapman's love language book with those of Asian heritage, overwhelming most chose acts of service. This has morphed a bit with the American influence, however we are talking about a culture with five thousand years of development and traditions. Though there are things to be appreciated in how things are done in the West with expressing oneself et al, it often gives way to superficiality and focus on self. Understanding this and seeing that actions speak louder than words, there is much to appreciate in this more subtle form of closeness.

Anyway, some thoughts on how I have seen closeness manifested in our version of the Chinese family here in America: acceptance, support, spending quality time not as an obligation, calling when you don't need something, unconditionally there to help & be there without having to ask, understanding your roles & responsibilities, thinking of others first, not wanting to inconvenience others out of consideration for them, concerned for each others well-being, demonstrated through action and less through words & emotions.

I don't think there are differences of 'closeness' among different cultures. What might be percieved as a difference would simply be differences in communication methods (ie. ways of sharing/showing love). Underlying those differences would be universal traits of a healthy relationship for all human beings.

As for what describes a healthy relationship, that would be up to each individual to decide. Some commonly accepted traits might be: trust, loyalty, transparency, honesty, concern, understanding, patience, recognition, accepting, communication, and predictability.

i suppose the above description of a close family is subscribed to by American culture. I know I do.

What would be considered a close family in Chinese culture? Asian? African? Latin? Each may well have different concepts of closeness

“Every role is a fictitious sense of self, and through it everything becomes personalized and thus corrupted and distorted by the mind-made “little me” and whatever role it happens to be playing”

Traits of a close family?
General acceptance (transparency, open-ness, forgiveness, resolved conflicts) and deep communication (honesty, presence/attention).

ref: http://www.djchuang.com/on/community/